"Holy Sour Cream and Chives, Scoop. We need to get those robbers' names online as soon as possible. Let's look into these guys' history to see what we can find out about them. You can start with our newspaper’s archives. There's no time to waste. And don't forget that you need to have a story about everything that happened today ready before our 10 p.m. deadline.
Get a move on!"
